An Australian ventriloquist is on holiday in NZ

He's got a mate who has a property there, and he asks innocently,

'G'day mate, can I talk to your horse?' The Kiwi splits his sides. 'Horses don't talk you stupid Aussie!' Still, the Aussie says, 'Hey horse, is this Kiwi your owner?' The horse nods, to the Kiwi's surprise. 'How does he treat you?' asks the Aussie. 'He treats me well. Feeds me the best hay and rides me twice a day.'

The Aussie asks, 'Mate, would I be able to talk with your dog?' The Kiwi stares nervously and says, 'I'm pretty sure dogs can't speak either.' But the Aussie doesn't listen and says, 'Dog, is this Kiwi your owner?' The dog smiles. 'Does he treat you well?' asks the Aussie. The dog says, 'He feeds me twice a day and throws the ball to me, so I've got that going for me.'

To the Kiwi's chagrin, the Aussie asks, 'Can I talk to your sheep?' The Kiwi yells, 'Don't trust that sheep, he's a bloody liar 🐑