English humour.

How does a barrister sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it

Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
A maybe

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
I don't know and don't really care

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is starting to improve

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: That's the last thing I need!

If you need an Ark - I Noah guy

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, but it let out a little whine

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?
Dad:”No sun”