Due to the climate of political correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as:
'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as:
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a:
' BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is:
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a:
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a:
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes:
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a:
' LOW-COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a:
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2.. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is"
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3... He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He:
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS..'

4.. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in:
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5.. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of:
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6.. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's:
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE..'