No punn

Are you in a punny mood?

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday night fever.
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself that's the last thing I need.

Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason, details are sketchy.

People are making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow.

Whatever you do, always give 100% unless you're donating blood

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin’ Catholic.

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Someday my prints will come.

A girl said she recognized me from her vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.

I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.